Written by:
Nancy Fagan
Web Site:
Expert Dating Advice
Date
Submitted: 03/11/2003
by Nancy
Fagan, M.S., ExpertDatingAdvice.com
The wedding vow is the most well-known demonstration of verbal love. A
vow is a line of words that are a solemn promise, or assertion, someone
makes that binds him or her to an act, service, or condition. In the
case of a wedding, it’s a declaration of love.
Because religion plays a significant role in many people’s lives, some
of the more traditional vows were created by individual churches. Each
vow has a slightly different way of phrasing the dedication words to
make them fit each belief system better.
The following are some of the more common religious vows:
Roman Catholic: “I, Olivia, take you, Craig, to be my husband. I promise
to be true to you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I
will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”
Muslim: “I pledge in honesty and with sincerity to be for you an
obedient and faithful wife.” “I pledge, in honesty and sincerity to be
for you a faithful and helpful husband.”
Jewish: The groom says, “Behold thou art consecrated unto me by this
ring according to the law of Moses and Israel.” The bride remains
silent, as is customary, and they are married.
Carpatho Russian Orthodox: “I, Craig, take you, Olivia, as my wedded
wife and I promise you love, honor, and respect: to be faithful to you
and not to forsake you until death do us part, so help me God, one in
the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.”
Traditional Hindu Mantra Baha’i Faith: “I am the word, and you are the
melody. I am the melody, and you are the word.”
Protestant: “I, Olivia, choose you, Craig, to be my husband, my friend,
my love, the father of our children. I will be yours in plenty and in
want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will
cherish you and respect you, comfort and
encourage you, and together we shall live freed and bound by our love.”
United Church: “Olivia, I take you to be my wife, to laugh with you in
joy, to grieve with you in sorrow, to grow with you in love, serving
mankind in peace and hope, as long as we both shall live.”
Personalizing Vows
Many couples choose to continue with tradition and repeat the vow just
as others in love have done for thousands of years. However, a
contemporary trend has been for couples to write their own vows.
Because the heart of the wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows,
creating your own can be a wonderful opportunity to share aloud just why
you have chosen your mate. This declaration of intent is specifically
what the ritual is about anyway. To help you
begin to formulate your ideas about what you will eventually write as
your wedding vow, use the following tips. They will guide you to the
most beautiful, loving words designed for your wedding day:
You don’t have to completely rewrite the traditional vows; you can
simply replace certain words, phrases, or sentences to fit your
thoughts.
Ask the officiator about ideas he may have, guidance he might offer,
or what’s acceptable in a vow.
The library offers many books on how to write personalized wedding vows.
Read as many as you can so that you get a good feeling about how to
write yours.
Collect phrases that you like.
Attend weddings and make notes about the words you liked in others’
vows.
Sit down with your partner and write your vows together. Even if you
don’t share what you are writing, the collaborative effort will be
bonding.
Begin early before the crunch of the wedding consumes you and you
no longer have time to write something meaningful.
Saying traditional vows is nerve-wracking enough, but the thought of
reciting personal vows can be absolutely terrifying for some people. The
fear of forgetting something causes some people to choose not to write
personal vows at all.
You don’t have to let this fear come between you and what you want to
say to your partner in a vow. It’s common to have the person performing
the ceremony to read the vow and have you repeat it after him. Most
wedding ceremonies are performed this way, so you won’t
have to worry about fully memorizing your lines.
Nancy Fagan, M.S., author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Romance” and
“Desirable Men: How to Find Them.” To read more, visit
www.ExpertDatingAdvice.com
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